Wacky Horoscopes — Capricorn, March 12, 2024

Your company will today shut down for fifteen hours, requiring you to have fun

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Today you will finally qualify to be a contestant on TV game shows

20 Apr – 20 May

Today you will spend a blissful night doing nothing. You might just wake up with a solar system tattoo.

21 May – 20 Jun

Don't clean your room today, the mess will be beneficial for you in the future.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Why do some people insist on verbally talking to their audience when they should just tell the story outright?

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Whack a psychedelic Gog

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Feel the speed of a light-bringer Libra

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Today you WILL feel like superhero. Your fatigue will melt away with your freshly brewed coffee.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Your neighbor's cat will teach you a secret cat language.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

You will be audited by the IRS.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

You will come across a treacherous traitorous plot to begin world war three

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Today you will accidentally shrink yourself and explore the miniature world.

19 Feb – 20 Mar