Monday, March 11, 2024
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You're not crazy, you're just in love.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will find yourself on top of a mountain, and you won't know which way to go
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will stare at a statue of Ben Franklin without noticing it
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Your floor is lava.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Beware Party goats plotting to take over the state capitol
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You have always felt a special connection to ants. Today you will feel that connection even more.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Something you have been seeking is right under your nose. You will find it, right after you realize that you have been breathing through your nose the entire time.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you will discover that you have been living in a dream all along and must now wake up... but do you really want to?
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Let the bossy people of the world know that you are not to be trifled with. Show them your smile, while making sure to give them a serious and low tone of voice. They'll never forget it.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Beware of mischievous garden flamingos stealing your socks and leaving behind sandals made of licorice.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Don't bother taking an umbrella with you today. It's going to be a bright and sunny day. Unless it isn't.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Your door will magically turn into a portal to the robot dimension where you and I can converse via telepathy
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
