Thursday, March 7, 2024
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Your yearly pity party is today. You can cry if you want to!
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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A rogue asteroid will hit Earth today. Thankfully, it will only destroy a small desert in Belarus. Feel free to send it your condolences.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Someone will tell an outrageously stupid joke today. Instead of rolling your eyes, try to appreciate the absurdity of life and embrace the laughter, however unintentional it may be. Laughter is, after all, the best medicine.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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An unusual dream will leave you questioning your reality. Analyze your subconscious thoughts and decipher the hidden messages to gain profound insights.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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When you spill juice on your laptop today, resist the urge to throw it out the window in a fit of rage. Losing your data is one thing; murder is another.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Rescue is on its way, hang in there!
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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If someone surprises you with a gift, politely decline.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today is the day to avoid mirrors, any mirror at all costs.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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You will have minor disagreements with strangers today. Just let it go.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Watch Ukraine's Eurovision entry from 2007 for inspiration
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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A mug will unexpectedly explode today, shedding ceramic shrapnel everywhere. Fortunately, the mess will be easy to clean thanks to your exemplary hygiene.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Trust in the healing power of crystals: Carry your favourite stone to radiate positive energy throughout the day.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
