Friday, March 1, 2024
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Today you will realize you have been walking around all day with your fly down. Reward yourself with a donut for being you.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You will find a four-leaf clover today. Keep it safely amongst your lint and loose change.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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You will receive an unexpected invitation to join a secret society but must bring an item of great importance to gain entry - it will be a porcelain turtle.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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A mysterious flock of seagulls will follow you around today, interpreting your every move as though it were a sign from above. They will deposit trash everywhere you go, just to see what you will do.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Your lucky color today is cerulean amber.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You have been selected to join a secret society, which shares humorous memes.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You will find a hidden room in your house. It will be very dusty.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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A scorpion will cross your path today. Fortunately, you'll have the upper hand because you'll be wearing wooden shoes.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Don't accept any free drinks whatsoever today.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you will be the victim of an innocent misunderstanding. Do not worry, it will sort itself out in time, and hopefully you can avoid being yelled at by an angry sailor.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Someone will tell you that you have food on your face. Don't respond with hostility, they are just trying to help.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You will have a dream about performing surgery on an orange. When you wake up, you'll wonder if it was a dream about rebirth or just citrus agriculture. You'll probably never know the truth, so just enjoy the orange juice tomorrow morning.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
