Saturday, January 20, 2024
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Today would be a great day to start a new book, maybe something by P.L. Travers.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You will experience deja vu today. But it's not just any deja vu, it's recursive deja vu, where you keep experiencing the deja vu over and over again, ad infinitum. Navigate this strange situation carefully.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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You will spontaneously develop the ability to climb walls and ceilings like a spider today. This skill will prove to be both a blessing and a curse. Climb wisely.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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A group of small birds will gather outside your window today, plotting a revolution against their tyrannical ruler, an evil cat that resides in the neighborhood.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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True friends will start communicating with you in Morse code, but beware of fake friends and unsuspecting crickets.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Rubbing your belly while running may increase your speed and induce a state of euphoria. Who needs performance-enhancing drugs when you have belly-rubbing?
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today is a good day to try a new recipe. If it doesn't work out, there is always take-out.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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A mundane task will take an inexplicable amount of time to complete. You will eventually give up and move on to something else.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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As you gaze upon a majestic waterfall, you will realize the secret to eternal youth lies in the nectar of honey bees, prompting a new career as a beekeeper.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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A wild ferret will disrupt a meeting you are attending today. Hopefully it's a cute ferret.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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If you don't have a dog, reconsider your lifestyle - adopt one today for a happier and more fulfilled life.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Your secrets are safe with the soot sprites
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar