Tuesday, January 16, 2024

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  If someone mentions the word 'warranty' today, run. Run fast and don't look back. This is an omen of imminent danger.

  Aries

  21 Mar – 19 Apr

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  A stranger will smile at you today. Don't be afraid to smile back. Not every interaction with a stranger has to be transactional.

  Taurus

  20 Apr – 20 May

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  You've received an invitation to join a secret society dedicated to sharing humorous memes. Accept this invitation and find joy in the lighthearted laughter and camaraderie that comes with it.

  Gemini

  21 May – 20 Jun

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  A spider encounter will remind you of the importance of patience and persistence. Just like a spider carefully crafts its web, you too can craft your own destiny with careful planning and attention to detail.

  Cancer

  21 Jun – 22 Jul

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  The vibe-less feeling you experience today will dissipate after taking a brisk walk outdoors, leaving you with a newfound appreciation for the little things in life.

  Leo

  23 Jul – 22 Aug

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  From meticulously wrapped presents to heartfelt handwritten notes, your gifts will be remembered and treasured for years to come.

  Virgo

  23 Aug – 22 Sep

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  Today you will uncover a newfound enthusiasm for buggy whips, and anyone who opposes this enthusiasm will certainly regret it.

  Libra

  23 Sep – 22 Oct

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  You will find a mysterious note on your doorstep, bearing a cryptic message: "The answer lies within a McIntosh apple." Confused, you will nonetheless embark on a quest to discover the meaning behind this message. Expect a fun and flavorful adventure.

  Scorpio

  23 Oct – 21 Nov

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  An imbalance in the universe creates an unusual situation: for each step you take forward, you will take three sideways. Expect to get nowhere quickly.

  Sagittarius

  22 Nov – 21 Dec

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  You will fiercely resist the temptation to lick the spoon today, no matter how delicious the batter smells.

  Capricorn

  22 Dec – 19 Jan

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  You will overestimate your own strength when you attempt to lift a particularly heavy object today. Don't risk it! You'll save face by asking for help anyway.

  Aquarius

  20 Jan – 18 Feb

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  You are embraced by the cosmic hug of the universe. Regardless of the challenges you face today, know that you are loved and protected.

  Pisces

  19 Feb – 20 Mar