Wacky Horoscopes — Scorpio, January 7, 2024

Today you will discover a hidden talent for juggling rubber ducks.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Today you will decide that raising kids is kinda hard.

20 Apr – 20 May

Embrace your inner child as you stumble upon a hidden stash of glitter-filled balloons during a routine closet cleanout.

21 May – 20 Jun

Beware of mischievous garden gnomes swapping your socks with those of your neighbors. Keep track of your footwear!

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Today is a good day for public transportation, especially for people wearing period costumes.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Today you will accidentally turn your cat into a dragon, and chaos will ensue

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Your cooking skills will be unmatched today. Take the opportunity to make a new dish!

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Today you will buy a cat a present.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

A random street sign will give you profound philosophical insights today.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Today you will discover that you can't sleep anymore. You're a god now.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

You've accidentally-on-purpose broken a traffic light.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Today you will be serenaded by a chorus of singing frogs during a moonlit stroll in the park.

19 Feb – 20 Mar