Monday, December 25, 2023
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Today, a part of you will feel the need to take a nap, but you will resist.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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If you do not take care of yourself, someone else will.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will give your cousin a hug, and he'll gently try to push you away
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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The current UK Prime Minister follows you on Instagram.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Your cat will whisper offensive language in your ear.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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It's very hot today so don't forget to bring your thermos and lots of water so you don't get dehydration.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today, you will transform your hand into a genie lamp, granting you wishes with pure awesome power. Check if you can reverse its effects.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Jump out of a moving train with a Libra
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will imagine you felt a sharp prick of electricity throughout your entire body
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Decorate a mantelpiece for a beloved French Libra
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Beware of the elusive pen thief who lurks in your office, leaving you perpetually searching for a writing instrument.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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There are multiple reasons why your personal life has been so exhausting lately. At least one of them is that you have an abnormally high number of unpaid speeding tickets.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar