Wacky Horoscopes — Capricorn, December 23, 2023

You use the word 'Definitely' a lot.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

If you have a problem, ask a toddler. They will have a much simpler and effective solution than you.

20 Apr – 20 May

You have previously owned a shellsuit.

21 May – 20 Jun

Have you ever wondered what's on the other side of the world? Today's the day you find out!

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Everything you touch will turn to gold (assuming you touch non-living things).

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You will see a UFO.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Your favourite pair of socks will vanish into another dimension.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

You will discover a secret underground society of tea enthusiasts in your neighborhood.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

If you are feeling queasy, try drinking a glass of ginger beer.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

If you go to sleep tonight, you'll have the best dreams of your life.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Your alarm clock will start playing soothing lullabies to gently wake you up in the morning. Embrace the musical mornings!

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Today, you will find yourself inexplicably drawn to a garage sale, where you'll uncover a peculiar antique teapot.

19 Feb – 20 Mar