Wacky Horoscopes — Taurus, December 17, 2023

If you get your ear pierced today, you will find true love as a result.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Today you will accidentally turn your shower into a portal to a tropical island. Enjoy the impromptu vacation!

20 Apr – 20 May

Your toaster oven starts cursing tomorrows about its lack of toasting element. Time to invest in a bigger one

21 May – 20 Jun

Your phone will today start speaking Russian

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Today you will discover you have a hidden talent for hypnotism. Prepare to mesmerize your whole neighborhood!

23 Jul – 22 Aug

At some point today, you will smell cheese. Don't worry, it's normal.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Your partner is feeling snuggly.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

A box of rat poison is actually a box of chocolates. Be careful when you open it.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

You are 92% sure that you are the protagonist of a role-playing video game.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Today you will wake up super happy

22 Dec – 19 Jan

If you're feeling nervous, just remember: fake it 'till you make it. Unless you're an Aries, in which case, just be yourself.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

The planets have aligned to give you a free pass on burping in public today. Enjoy it while it lasts!

19 Feb – 20 Mar