Wacky Horoscopes — Sagittarius, December 7, 2023

Beware a clan of conniving psycho clowns swapping your breakfast cereal with jelly

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Today, you're about to discover a source of major savings: surplus toilet paper.

20 Apr – 20 May

Today you will learn that it's impossible to cross your legs in the same position twice in a row

21 May – 20 Jun

The traffic lights will turn green just for you.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

There will be no chocolate in your advent calendar for the rest of the year. Sorry.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Today you will realize that your co-worker is a celebrity

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Find out how quickly you can run up a flight of stairs without stopping.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's when you know you've been reading too much astrological forecasts.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Today you will see the King of Denmark

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Just because you can't remember where you left your keys, it doesn't mean you're going to forget about them.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Today, you will forever change the shape of the gene tree.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Today you will accidentally turn your kitchen sponge into a magic carpet. Clean up with a touch of whimsy!

19 Feb – 20 Mar