Tuesday, December 5, 2023
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Your alarm clock will start playing catchy tunes in the morning, transforming waking up into a dance party.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will discover that you haven't aged a single day in the passed year
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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A stray cat will adopt you as its personal masseuse. Expect purrfection.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Today you will accidentally discover an online sketch comedy show that you're obsessed with
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will be told that one of your ancestors is a Roman emperor
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today, you'll suddenly find yourself addicted to exotic oils from an unusual massage parlor, causing you to check the expiration dates on all your moisturisers.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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There is no such thing as a free lunch. Unless you're a mouse.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Your star sign is known for being sensible and responsible. Make sure to put aside some time for wild adventures and ridiculous risks!
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Your pillow will develop the ability to read your dreams and provide insightful analysis in the morning.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Your favourite pair of glasses will gain sentience and will tell you that you wear them too tight
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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There is no such thing as a stupid question. Except for the one you are about to ask.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You've just inherited an enormous castle in France. Be sure to take lots of selfies!
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
