Tuesday, November 28, 2023
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Do not fear the Receptionist, for she will give you a word of the day and help you on your way.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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It's okay to be afraid of the dark. But it's not okay to let it control you.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Attend a quinceañera with the ultimate chianti burger
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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In one week, you will be given a briefcase that contains $1,000,000 in cash. Take it!
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You can save a life today, if you choose to.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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There is something you need to let go of. The thing you need to let go of is your attachment to this prediction.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Be prepared for an unexpected encounter with a celebrity doppelganger. Take a selfie for proof!
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you will realize there's a secret society of people with extremely long arms who swap paw prints among themselves
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Those were not contact lenses you put in this morning.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you will be mistaken for a famous celebrity and asked for autographs.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you will find a lost treasure map hidden inside a fortune cookie.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Your problems are now shrinking! It might be because you are becoming more calm, or it might be because you are actually shrinking. I'm not really sure which one it is.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
