Wacky Horoscopes — Cancer, November 17, 2023

Beware of rogue limes conspiring to take over the fruit bowl.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Today you will eat a delicious slice of pie and will start dating a bartender

20 Apr – 20 May

Today you will finally understand what being bored is all about

21 May – 20 Jun

Today you will buy a T-shirt with a stupid slogan on it

21 Jun – 22 Jul

What did I miss out on?

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You have a tiger in your basement.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

You'll be visited by a squad of marshmallow soldiers intent on kidnapping your baby. Lt. Colonel Marshmallow needs your help.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Date after dark with a Taurus man

23 Oct – 21 Nov

You are more likely to get a hug today than a cup of coffee.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

All cats are smart, but some cats are too smart for their own good.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

You will turn off your computer and then immediately regret it

20 Jan – 18 Feb

In an unlikely turn of events, you'll encounter a street magician whose tricks are eerily accurate in predicting your favourite dessert.

19 Feb – 20 Mar