Wacky Horoscopes — Taurus, November 11, 2023

Today you will forget to close your front door on your way out, and you know that you'll have to hide from the police

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

At a restaurant, you can only order things that have your initials.

20 Apr – 20 May

You have always wanted to try paragliding. Today is the day.

21 May – 20 Jun

A bear will stop your ladder climbing today.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Today you will encounter a talking squirrel who will share their nutty wisdom with you. Embrace their quirky advice!

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Today you'll find yourself baking an epic pie, but will be frustrated by how difficult it is to cut it into slices.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Today you will get fired from a job you don't like doing because you were once fired from an identical job

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Fight a whole army with a Sagittarius man

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Everything you say will be taken out of context, so keep quiet.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

A squirrel will steal your sandwich right out of your hands.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

There is a bear in your closet. But do not worry, because he is a friendly bear.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Today you will discover that you can double your speed by rubbing your belly

19 Feb – 20 Mar