Sunday, November 5, 2023
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Today you will have an infuriating argument with someone who has no idea what you're saying
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Your toaster will start producing perfectly toasted images of famous paintings.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will eat an entire tub of ice cream and not gain any weight.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Today you will develop a sudden affinity for wearing mismatched socks.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You'll think of a great name for a band, but someone else will have already used it.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Don't step on the broken glass today.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You're not crazy, you're just in love.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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A flock of seagulls will gather outside your window and sing you a song.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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In Japanese mythology, a half-tiger, half-girl creature was said to have walked the earth. Her name was Ayamaleya. Today, you will discover a new appreciation for hybrid animals.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you will find yourself on an empty mountaintop, completely out of any mortal danger
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you will spend a blissful night doing nothing. You might just wake up with a solar system tattoo.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Today you will be visited by a talking grapefruit who will share the secrets of tropical wisdom with you.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
