Saturday, October 28, 2023
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You have a Leo friend who is as sweet as candy. Today, try and sell that candy.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you'll be unexpectedly decorated with pointy ears, allowing you to attend Rave Chic parties without fear of bloodshed
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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You'll keep mistaking your hair dryer for a retro space-age jetpack. Put it to good use making an urgent escape.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Maybe it's because you left your pet chipmunk in the clothes dryer last week, but you've been feeling even more itchy than usual. A pack of gerbils may be the answer to your scratching ways.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You'll accidentally turn into a cat, and realize you don't know where you've been all day.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today you'll find an incredibly lifelike fashion doll inside your washing machine.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You'll discover you've been accidentally borrowing the souls of your worst enemies, but it's okay because they're the worst.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Your trousers will all perish in a surprise wildfire
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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You will meet a nice bisexual
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Brace yourself for an unexpected encounter with a talking plant that offers gardening advice.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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If you don't clean your room you'll get a fungus, if you do clean your room you'll get a fungus.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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A housemate of yours will have a bad day. You can try to cheer them up, or you can take the opportunity to prank them.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
