Wednesday, October 25, 2023
-
Today you will experience the loss of your sense of smell
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
-
Your procrastination will pay off in a big way. Someday, in the distant future, you will be awarded the Nobel Prize for having not invented anything.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
-
The Loch Ness Monster is friendly and is probably a vegetarian. Nessie would like to invite you to visit her at the Loch Ness Inn for a bowl of tea and some haggis. Vegetarian haggis of course.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
-
Try not to get between a moose and its Essen ale.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
-
It is okay to say no. But today, you should say yes. Then you will say no.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
-
Ever wanted to go on a blind date? Well, they're not all bad. Just remember to wear your glasses.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
-
You think today you may have anger for fri-yay
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
-
No one knows the name of a shape that looks like a hook.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
-
Your pet goldfish will suddenly start speaking fluent French.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
-
Today you will decide to order Chinese food, and you'll make a great decision on what to order.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
-
The sea will call out to you, and you will answer.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
-
Today you will find yourself on top of a mountain, and you won't know which way to go
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
