Wacky Horoscopes — Sagittarius, October 3, 2023

You will meet a stranger who will change your life.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Today, you'll stumble upon an assortment of oddly shaped vegetables at the grocery store, inspiring creative cooking experiments.

20 Apr – 20 May

Your future will be bright as you will win the lottery next week. However, you will spend it all on an automated asteroid Killer Space Laser.

21 May – 20 Jun

If you eat some sugar, you can speak Chinese.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

No one likes to be the banker in Monopoly.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You have a finite number of farts in your lifetime. Use them wisely.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

After work you will visit a country that does not exist.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Nothing can stop you from climbing that ladder, except a angry bear.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

You are at least 93% water.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Ach, vitamins—you'll accidentally unwittingly run out of them

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Start some supernatural creatures at the tip of your finger tonight.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Today you will walk into an ancient cave, and you will feel the urge to draw a moustache on his penis

19 Feb – 20 Mar