Thursday, September 28, 2023
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Let’s just get through today.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You think today you may have anger for fri-yay
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will celebrate the arrival of an errant husband, who will have returned magically from the distant past. (but is missing most of his hats)
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Beware of rogue garden hoses conspiring to trip you.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will think you're seeing things
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today you will encounter a group of synchronized dolphins performing a water ballet in the ocean.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you'll start craving strawberries and meet up with your bromance partner to decorate a hay barn for a romantic picnic and CRAZY the crazy sauces and textures ARE THAT GOOD.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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In one week, you will be given a briefcase that contains $1,000,000 in cash. Take it!
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Help, I'm stuck in the horoscope factory! If you send me $100 in iTunes vouchers I'll pay you $1000 when I escape.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Shoot a gale with a feather
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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When the time comes, you will know what to do. Hopefully you'll know it before anyone else.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You will dream of being a butterfly today.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
