Thursday, September 14, 2023
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Today you will find your lost dog
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Date after dark with a Taurus man
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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There is no I in team, but there is in 'win'. Make sure you get the pronunciation right when telling your team this.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You will get an embarrassing nickname today.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You've been feeling a little under the weather lately. It might be because you have caught a cold, or it might be because you are feeling a little down. I'm not really sure which one it is.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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The moon will be in the sky today. It will be a blue moon.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you will stare vehemently at an animal skull, discovering you have a hidden talent of identifying graffiti artists just by looking at their art
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You will find a romantic partner at the bottom of a well.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Expose your underbelly to a Libra
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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There is no such thing as an ocean, it's just a big puddle.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you will imagine you feel a sharp prick of electricity in your body, you'll suddenly feel a sudden burning sensation in your left butt cheek, and will be unable to sit down for the rest of day.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Today you will have a brief hallucination that you are talking to a dog
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
