Wacky Horoscopes — Gemini, September 13, 2023

Time to restock the birthdays.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Brace yourself for an unexpected encounter with a talking plant that offers gardening advice.

20 Apr – 20 May

Today someone will write a song about you. It'll be a fucking banger.

21 May – 20 Jun

Prepare for a peculiar craving for pickles and ice cream—a delightful combination that defies logic but satisfies your taste buds.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

A talking bird will visit you today. Listen to what it has to say. It might just be the fountain of youth you've been looking for.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You are a beginner at skateboarding, but will learn surprisingly quickly. You will fall down a lot though.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Beware of rogue pigeons attempting to steal your lunch today.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

You are teleported into a parallel universe where every conversation ends with a question mark?

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Have you ever wanted to be a cat? Now's your chance!

22 Nov – 21 Dec

You are teleported into a parallel universe where every conversation ends with a question mark?

22 Dec – 19 Jan

It's okay to be afraid of the dark. But it's not okay to let it control you.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Stop getting your messages from a Ouija board. It's not safe.

19 Feb – 20 Mar