Wacky Horoscopes — Aquarius, September 10, 2023

It's a good day to bench press your pet.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

You will find a love letter in a book.

20 Apr – 20 May

You will be more likely to become a spaceman than a farmer.

21 May – 20 Jun

The sea will call out to you, and you will answer.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Your toaster will mysteriously start reciting Shakespearean sonnets today.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You have a non- vulgar tattoo on your butt.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

You will suddenly realize that you don't need to sleep anymore.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

It's always good to have a laugh, especially at someone else's expense. Unless they're a baby, then you should probably just let them cry.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Your procrastination will pay off in a big way. Someday, in the distant future, you will be awarded the Nobel Prize for having not invented anything.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

All cats are grey.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Your favourite pair or socks will start rapping about your wardrobe.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Find that your crush just can't take a hint; they will invite you to a midnight wedding. SELFIE.

19 Feb – 20 Mar