Friday, September 8, 2023
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You will suddenly grow an extra limb that will tie up your other limbs in knots.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Always remember to drink your ovaltine.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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All cats are smart, but some cats are too smart for their own good.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Your neighbours will move out today, you'll finally get some peace and quiet, until tomorrow when the new neighbours arrive.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Beware of rogue limes conspiring to take over the fruit bowl.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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In Japanese mythology, a half-tiger, half-girl creature was said to have walked the earth. Her name was Ayamaleya. Today, you will discover a new appreciation for hybrid animals.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You still, to this day, think 'MySpace' is a cool name for a social networking site.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Ride a buffalo with a tall Gemini
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will watch the sun rise, and will somehow realize that you don't want it ever to set again
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You're not crazy, you're just in love.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you will wake up and realize you've been writing poems all night and will win a prize
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You will discover a hidden talent for playing the harmonica with your nose.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
