Wednesday, August 30, 2023
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Turn a simple tax audit into a great success
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You will receive a surprise delivery of 100 rubber ducks.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Keep a wary eye on your beer bottles today; they're harboring tiny gnomes.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's when you know you've been reading too much astrological forecasts.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Let a quick-witted Aquarius suggest bedtime stories
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Your boat will crash into your house. Don't worry, you don't own a boat... right?
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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At a restaurant, you can only order things that have your initials.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Beware of mischievous Gorgonzola planning evil schemes against the cheese aisle. Keep a close eye!
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will wake up and your first thought will be happy birthday to me.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You will be visited by the ghosts of breakfast past, present and future today. They will either be friendly or just vengeful depending on if you have finished your breakfast.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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For the foreseeable future, all your conversations will be via email.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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There is no such thing as a spoon.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
