Sunday, August 27, 2023

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  Maybe it's because you left your pet chipmunk in the clothes dryer last week, but you've been feeling even more itchy than usual. A pack of gerbils may be the answer to your scratching ways.

  Aries

  21 Mar – 19 Apr

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  You will find a lost library card and will use it to borrow a stack of stolen books to read on your vacation

  Taurus

  20 Apr – 20 May

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  Today you will accidentally turn your bathtub into a jacuzzi filled with spaghetti.

  Gemini

  21 May – 20 Jun

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  Today you will wake up to discover that the world is a puddle of frothed milk with a feather floating on top. It takes some getting used to, but adapts surprisingly well

  Cancer

  21 Jun – 22 Jul

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  Beware of mischievous garden gnomes stealing your freshly baked cookies. Guard them with all your might!

  Leo

  23 Jul – 22 Aug

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  Don't wear those shoes with that belt.

  Virgo

  23 Aug – 22 Sep

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  Today you will realize you've never thought about this before

  Libra

  23 Sep – 22 Oct

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  Today you will become friends with a psychic squirrel who predicts your future.

  Scorpio

  23 Oct – 21 Nov

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  Today you will accidentally shrink yourself and explore the miniature world.

  Sagittarius

  22 Nov – 21 Dec

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  Today you will accidentally turn your umbrella into a parachute. Float down with style!

  Capricorn

  22 Dec – 19 Jan

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  Beware of mischievous fairies rearranging your furniture while you sleep.

  Aquarius

  20 Jan – 18 Feb

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  If you were a dog, you'd be a good boy today.

  Pisces

  19 Feb – 20 Mar