Wacky Horoscopes — Scorpio, August 25, 2023

Today, you will forever change the shape of the gene tree.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

At the club tonight, spin the wheel of destiny for amazing cosplay costumes

20 Apr – 20 May

Today you will try a new diet

21 May – 20 Jun

You will receive some money you lost. It will be in the form of a check, and you will lose it again.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Today you will be alone with a very nice young lady

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You will stumble upon a hidden treasure map while doing laundry.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

You will make an interesting new friend today.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

It's a good day to start writing that novel you always say you will.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

You'll be asked to bring a salad to a party, so you will make a potato salad.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Steal a mermaid with a mirror and never let her go

22 Dec – 19 Jan

You'll find a four leaf clover today.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Today, you will receive an inheritance of $5,000, but you will spend it all on a single lunch.

19 Feb – 20 Mar