Wednesday, August 16, 2023
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Pay attention to the unusual pattern on your morning toast, as it holds a hidden message that could guide you to the perfect pair of socks.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will accidentally send a lewd message to your mentor
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Your problems are now shrinking! It might be because you are becoming more calm, or it might be because you are actually shrinking. I'm not really sure which one it is.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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There are ghosts in your bedroom.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Beware of rogue squirrels plotting to take over the world's nut supply. Stay vigilant!
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Watch a fire with a smooth Gemini.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Your hairbrush will gain sentience and start giving you daily pep talks.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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When you meet a new friend today, they will become your emergency contact.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Your bathrobe will gain sentience and become your best friend
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you will realize how much money you have saved up over the years, and will be able to afford a yacht and a villa in Tahiti if you earn a bit extra
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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You will make a close friend today who is also a pillow.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You will soon be receiving good news.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
