Wacky Horoscopes — Taurus, August 12, 2023

Beware of mischievous garden gnomes swapping your shampoo with toothpaste. Your hair may get minty fresh!

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

You were almost a pro-gamer.

20 Apr – 20 May

There is a spider in your shoe.

21 May – 20 Jun

Today you discover a portal to another dimension.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

A flock of random seagulls will serendade you with a rendition your favourite song.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You'll suddenly discover that you've developed the ability to time jump.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Today you will have an encounter with a magical talking squirrel who grants wishes.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

You'll stumble upon an underground club devoted to knitting sweaters for cats.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Today you will meet a messenger from a parallel universe. They will try to sell you a timeshare. Do not buy it!

22 Nov – 21 Dec

In approximately two weeks, you will go to sleep and wake up a totally different person. This is going to be amazing!

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Today you will realize a bunch of things are true about you that you always thought we're just false

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Today you will develop a sudden affinity for wearing mismatched socks.

19 Feb – 20 Mar