Monday, August 7, 2023
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Beware of rogue garden hoses conspiring to create a water park in your backyard. Grab your swimsuit and join the fun!
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You'll suddenly realize you hate all the things you've been using to cut your hair.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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A bat will fly into your home through the window today.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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It's hard to be humble when you're an Aries.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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If you mimic a galloping horse in your sleep, you will have big dreams.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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It's always good to have a plan, unless you're a procrastinator, in which case it's better to not have a plan maybe.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Start a band called "The 9th of July".
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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It might rain chocolate today.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will miss your bus and will wonder how you ended up here
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Don't forget to stop and smell the roses today. Unless you're in a rush, then it's probably not worth it.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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In ancient cultures, you were seen as the sun and the moon. In modern times, you are seen as a shadowy figure, often in the background, rarely in the spotlight. Today, you can change this by making a big scene in a restaurant.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You will fall in love at first sight with a pizza today.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
