Thursday, August 3, 2023
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A groundhog in the distance will think you look like a tree, do not let this bother you.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You're the type of person who likes to take the scenic route.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Your mother will suddenly appear and demand you submit your tax returns. Do it now!
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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If you are feeling queasy, try drinking a glass of ginger beer.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You are more likely to get a hug today than a cup of coffee.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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There's no point to this, but it's a good laugh.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Sometimes, the best way to solve a problem is to take a nap. Today is one of those days.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Experience saltspray with toppled dominos
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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There is a meerkat watching and it will come for you
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Time to put away your stamp collection. You'll never finish it anyway.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today, you'll suddenly find yourself addicted to exotic oils from an unusual massage parlor, causing you to check the expiration dates on all your moisturisers.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You will meet a nice bisexual
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
