Thursday, June 5, 2025
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Watch a fire with a smooth Gemini.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You will have a fleeting desire to move to a castle and live like royalty, preferably in the countryside.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you'll start suffering from violent gutter rages.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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In the realm of dad jokes, you will ascend to the rank of Master of Mirth. Your expertly crafted puns will elicit groans and eye rolls, followed by a resounding chorus of laughter.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will discover a hidden talent for speaking to plants. They have some interesting stories to share.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today is a good day to break out of your routine and try a new hairstyle. Shoulder-length mushroom cuts are always in style.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Your car will not start today. It's trying to tell you something.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Ask questions in Turkish (maybe).
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Stop getting your messages from a Ouija board. It's not safe.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today, you will forever change the shape of the gene tree.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you will realize there's a secret society of people with extremely long arms who swap paw prints among themselves
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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A series of coincidences will lead you to a street corner where a troupe of tap-dancing pigeons awaits your applause.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
