Monday, June 2, 2025
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If you don't have a dog, reconsider your lifestyle - adopt one today for a happier and more fulfilled life.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Don't forget to stop and smell the roses today. Unless you're in a rush, then it's probably not worth it.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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I have seen the future and it is jeans.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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No matter how tempting it may be, you will not partake in the office birthday cake today, for fear of contracting the crabbies.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Be careful when opening that new can of paint.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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There are multiple reasons why your personal life has been so exhausting lately. At least one of them is that you have an abnormally high number of unpaid speeding tickets.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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A flock of random seagulls will serendade you with a rendition your favourite song.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you will try on a cheap poisonous black cocktail dress. It will start to burn you, and you will leave the shop in tears
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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At some point in the future you will meet a quartz elephant in Hong Kong.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Take your time.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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A gust of wind will carry secret messages. Try to intercept them, but be careful of the messenger.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You are the chosen one.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
