Sunday, June 1, 2025
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You will have an intense dream about wrestling a jellyfish. Upon waking, you will feel a strange sense of confidence, as if you can tackle any challenge that comes your way. Use this newfound courage to face a difficult task you've been avoiding.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Maybe it's because you left your pet chipmunk in the clothes dryer last week, but you've been feeling even more itchy than usual. A pack of gerbils may be the answer to your scratching ways.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will buy a T-shirt with a stupid slogan on it
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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The concept of time is an illusion, so don't bother showing up for work.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Beware of rogue kittens clustering outside your window plotting evil industrial espionage
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Don't be alarmed if you suddenly start growing feathers. This is a mere side-effect of your confidence and attractiveness, which are on full display today.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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In ancient cultures, you were seen as the sun and the moon. In modern times, you are seen as a shadowy figure, often in the background, rarely in the spotlight. Today, you can change this by making a big scene in a restaurant.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You still use an old childhood nickname.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Everything you say will be taken out of context, so keep quiet.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Watch Ukraine's Eurovision entry from 2007 for inspiration
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you will try a new sport. It will be a lot harder than it looks!
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Your friends will insist on paying for your meals today as a show of their appreciation for your friendship. Don't insist on paying; instead, order the most extravagant thing on the menu.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
