Monday, May 26, 2025
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A small ghost shall reside in your sock drawer from this day forth. Do not fret, for it comes bearing gifts of good tidings.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you shall embrace your inner snail and take things at your own pace. Slow and steady wins the race, after all!
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will give your cousin a hug, and he'll gently try to push you away
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You will finally understand why guinea pigs squeak so much. And you will squeak with them.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you'll suddenly discover you can trigger spontaneous puberty on youths by getting close to them
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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A mysterious flock of seagulls will follow you around today, interpreting your every move as though it were a sign from above. They will deposit trash everywhere you go, just to see what you will do.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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That squeaky hinge isn't going to fix itself. You might as well tighten it before it wakes up the whole house.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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An unexpected visitor will show up at your door, but their intentions will be less than wholesome.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Steal a hen from a farm with a Sagittarius girl
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Engage in numerology: Discover the significance of numbers in your life and use them to guide your decisions.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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It is believed that eating your lunch under the sun will bring you good luck, so do it enthusiastically.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Beware of mischievous Gorgonzola planning evil schemes against the cheese aisle. Keep a close eye!
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
