Wacky Horoscopes

You will spontaneously grow a third arm today. While at first, this may be a nuisance, you will come to find that it has its own unique abilities. By the end of the day, you will be able to do everything three times as fast.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

You'll keep mistaking your hair dryer for a retro space-age jetpack. Put it to good use making an urgent escape.

Taurus

20 Apr – 20 May

Your usual route to work is obstructed. Rather than getting frustrated, embrace the spontaneity and take a different route. You might find a new café or discover a beautiful park that you never knew existed.

Gemini

21 May – 20 Jun

You will dream about a sheep today. It will have a significant meaning.

Cancer

21 Jun – 22 Jul

You have spinach in your teeth.

Leo

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Beware of rogue squirrels plotting to take over the world's nut supply. Stay vigilant!

Virgo

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Today you will have a staring contest with a wild animal and win.

Libra

23 Sep – 22 Oct

You will have a strong desire to spend time in the great outdoors today. Make sure to pack a picnic lunch and take in the beauty of the sunshine. Just watch out for bees, they have it in for you today.