Wacky Horoscopes

Today you will discover a hidden talent for juggling rubber ducks.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Today you will have the urge to howl at the moon, but remember to wag your tail afterward to show you're friendly.

Taurus

20 Apr – 20 May

Beware of mischievous garden gnomes stealing your freshly baked cookies. Guard them with all your might!

Cancer

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Today you will realize a bunch of things are true about you that you always thought we're just false

Leo

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You will be serenaded by a choir of opera-singing parrots during your morning commute. Enjoy the musical interlude!

Virgo

23 Aug – 22 Sep

You will embark on a journey to find the perfect lighting for an Instagram photoshoot, only to realize that natural light is always best.

Libra

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Beware of mischievous rubber ducks conspiring to flood your bathroom.

Scorpio

23 Oct – 21 Nov

You will fantasize about quitting your job to pursue your true passion, asteroid mining. Unfortunately, Pluto extraction is currently illegal and space law is notoriously difficult to navigate.

Sagittarius

22 Nov – 21 Dec

You will lose your glasses and find them on your head.

You will find a mysterious note on your doorstep, bearing a cryptic message: "The answer lies within a McIntosh apple." Confused, you will nonetheless embark on a quest to discover the meaning behind this message. Expect a fun and flavorful adventure.

Aquarius

20 Jan – 18 Feb

You use the word 'Definitely' a lot.

Pisces

19 Feb – 20 Mar

Monday, May 19, 2025