Sunday, May 18, 2025
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You will crave pie today, and not just any pie, but a specific type of berry pie that you haven't tasted since childhood. Pursue this pie with reckless abandon, and enjoy every savoury bite.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will realize your doctor is a thief
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will see the King of Denmark
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Beware! rogue cantaloupes plotting evil schemes.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You'll receive a proposal today. It will be written in fortune cookie form.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Your daily routine will be disrupted by a series of inexplicable events, from traffic jams to power outages. Embrace the unexpected and go with the flow.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you will accidentally send a lewd message to your mentor
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Whack a psychedelic Gog
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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You will receive an email from a long-lost friend asking for an urgent loan today. Do not engage with this message, as it is extremely likely to be a scam.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You are feeling a little under the weather, but that's just the atmosphere.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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The weather will be beautiful in your neck of the woods today.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Your week starts off with a bold statement courtesy of a pungent food item that may or may not be expired. Remember: boldness is bravery sometimes.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
