Wednesday, May 14, 2025
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Ignore unconventional difficulties with Kayaks.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You have a non- vulgar tattoo on your butt.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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You will find an extremely low IQ alien probe lying in your own backyard, and you will abandon it
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Your keen observational skills will be needed today, so try to avoid gazing at your navel. There's a difference between being introspective and being unaware.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Make sure you take the scenic route today, the earth needs more beauty in it.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Tomorrow's lucky number is 111111.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Beware of mischievous fairies rearranging your furniture while you sleep.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you have a genuine fear of muffins.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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The stars are aligning for you to start that podcast you've been thinking about.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you will solve the murder mystery of why Halloween is always really great
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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A strangely familiar stranger will cross your path today. Ignore the feeling of deja vu and focus on connecting with your present surroundings.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Today you will go on a triple date with three very old ladies, who will each try to steal you away from your girlfriend
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
