Tuesday, May 13, 2025
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It is okay to be afraid. In fact, a little fear can be good for you. unless it's a fear of velcro, in which case, seek professional help.
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You will finally understand what your pets are thinking and talking about. They will ask you to buy them a friend, and you will happily comply.
20 Apr – 20 May
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Your cheese consumption will rise today, blame the moon
21 May – 20 Jun
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When you check your phone today, you'll find an annoying new update waiting. Instead of procrastinating, update it immediately and then move on with your life. The world of technology waits for no one.
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Realise an awesome ability for secretly deciphering foreign languages. Bonjour.
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today you'll start craving strawberries and meet up with your bromance partner to decorate a hay barn for a romantic picnic and CRAZY the crazy sauces and textures ARE THAT GOOD.
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you will stare vehemently at an animal skull, discovering you have a hidden talent of identifying graffiti artists just by looking at their art
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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That potato salad is the best thing you've ever eaten, no questions asked.
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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You will stumble upon a secret underground society of talking squirrels. They have a lot to say.
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You will receive some unexpected but much-needed rainfall today. Rather than letting it dampen your spirits, you will see it as a sign of renewed growth and opportunity. Use this metaphorical (and literal) rain as a chance to bloom and flourish.
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today is a good day to stay indoors and avoid any encounters with bikers, who will unfortunately be involved in a nasty spat with the police and respond with unnecessary violence.
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Your future is so bright you'll have to wear shades. Unless you're in a cave, in which case you probably shouldn't wear shades.
19 Feb – 20 Mar
