Sunday, May 4, 2025
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Date an Ethiopian scorpio.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Help, I'm stuck in the horoscope factory! If you send me $100 in iTunes vouchers I'll pay you $1000 when I escape.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Move a mountain at the snap of your fingers today.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You are a fruit known for it's mild sweet flavour, with a pungent odour comparable to that of Limburger cheese.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will accidentally turn your kitchen sponge into a magic carpet. Clean up with a touch of whimsy!
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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It is written in the stars that you will live until you are 92 years old.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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In the morning you will realize that your name is Mentos
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you will find 210 euros on the sidewalk and will ask cleaning lady if she wants it. She'll say no, but you'll keep it anyway
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today will be filled with unexpected synchronizations and coincidences. Use these events as reminders of the interconnectedness of all things.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You will have a strong desire to rearrange your books according to colour today. Proceed with this task, but don't get caught up in an endless cycle of perfecting the arrangement.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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You will receive a red letter in the mail today. Do not open it. It will be an important message in the future.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You'll suddenly possess the weirdest talent for winning at games of chance.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
