Friday, May 2, 2025
-
Today you will finally conquer a terrifying fear of elevators
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
-
A flock of flamingos will serenade you with a chorus of your favourite songs. Enjoy the flamboyant performance!
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
-
Beware of rogue pigeons attempting to steal your lunch today.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
-
You'll suddenly gain phenomenal knowledge of jazz music, so you'll be able to accurately describe every famous musician in detail.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
-
Today is the day to avoid mirrors, any mirror at all costs.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
-
Why do some people insist on verbally talking to their audience when they should just tell the story outright?
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
-
Today you will think you're seeing things
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
-
An uncanny ability to communicate with aquatic life will reveal itself, leading to an unforgettable underwater adventure with a friendly pod of dolphins.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
-
Today you will be buried alive
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
-
If you were a dog, you'd be a good boy today.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
-
If you eat spicy food today, you will have excellent sex tomorrow.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
-
What happens in Vegas today, stays in Vegas. Unless you tell everyone.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
