Thursday, May 1, 2025
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Don't forget your umbrella today, or you'll get wet.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You will find a lost library book that is overdue by 10 years.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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If you're feeling nervous, just remember: fake it 'till you make it. Unless you're an Aries, in which case, just be yourself.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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How many stars do you see in the sky? Theres only one way to find out.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will discover a hidden talent for speaking fluent dolphin. Prepare for deep conversations in the ocean.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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It's always good to have a laugh, especially at someone else's expense. Unless they're a baby, then you should probably just let them cry.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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If you eat some sugar, you can speak Chinese.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You have a secret admirer. Try to determine their identity by examining your burritos.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Wear blue if you want to remain invisible.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Your floor is lava.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you will find a four-leaf clover. This will bring you immense good luck, use this luck to wish for something practical, like a year's worth of free groceries.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Beware of mischievous Gorgonzola planning evil schemes against the cheese aisle. Keep a close eye!
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
