Wacky Horoscopes

Connect with nature: Take a walk in the park or go on a hike to appreciate the beauty of the great outdoors.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Have you ever wanted to make a blanket fort? Today is the day!

20 Apr – 20 May

A mysterious object will unlock your true powers; maybe it's that rock in your garden or the sock under your bed. Who knows?

21 May – 20 Jun

You'll soon have to decide whether you want to be a #GBBO or a #MKR.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Do not make online purchases of shoes, for they will inevitably be sharper and more uncomfortable than you anticipated.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You will receive a mysterious package in the mail, containing a single ping pong ball with a note that reads, "Don't bounce it."

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Today you will develop the ability to speak to inanimate objects. Your conversations will be enlightening and bizarre.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

A glitch in the matrix will occur today, prepare yourself by wearing clothing that is reversible for when you enter and exit the matrix.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

You will discover a new definition of the word 'humid' today. Expect to be sweaty, whether you're in an air conditioned home or not.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

You've just inherited an enormous castle in France. Be sure to take lots of selfies!

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Pictures of you will turn out fantastically well today.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Today you will wake up super happy

19 Feb – 20 Mar