Tuesday, April 22, 2025

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  Today you will feel an irresistible urge to finish your homework before going to bed

  Aries

  21 Mar – 19 Apr

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  You have to poop.

  Taurus

  20 Apr – 20 May

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  You will develop an uncanny ability to identify the precise moment when someone has finished chewing and is ready to speak, and will develop a terrifyingly accurate rhythm for interrupting people at exactly the right moment, ruining every conversation you have.

  Gemini

  21 May – 20 Jun

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  In a few days, your dreams are going to be eerily accurate. I would ask what this means, but I'm pretty sure you already know.

  Cancer

  21 Jun – 22 Jul

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  You will discover a secret portal to a parallel universe behind your refrigerator.

  Leo

  23 Jul – 22 Aug

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  Do not open a door today, it might be a trick.

  Virgo

  23 Aug – 22 Sep

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  Your neighbour's cat will start doing stuff to your couch cushions.

  Libra

  23 Sep – 22 Oct

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  Today you will make the perfect cup of tea

  Scorpio

  23 Oct – 21 Nov

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  You will lose something, but it won't be important.

  Sagittarius

  22 Nov – 21 Dec

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  In the morning you will realize that your name is Mentos

  Capricorn

  22 Dec – 19 Jan

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  You will come across a cute dog and an angry seagull, follow their path ahead of you.

  Aquarius

  20 Jan – 18 Feb

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  An unexpected turn of events may leave you feeling dazed and confused, but don't worry, it's just Mercury rising.

  Pisces

  19 Feb – 20 Mar