Wacky Horoscopes

You will have a great idea today.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

You should do some kind of artistic expression today.

Taurus

20 Apr – 20 May

You will be serenaded by a choir of opera-singing parrots during your morning commute. Enjoy the musical interlude!

You will have a strong desire to go swimming with whales today. Don't do this, for obvious reasons. This yearning will be satisfied by taking a dip in the local pool with your swim cap adorned with whale stickers.

Cancer

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Beware of mischievous garden gnomes swapping your shampoo with toothpaste. Your hair may get minty fresh!

Leo

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Embrace the joy of finding a hidden stash of bubble wrap that brings instant stress relief and oddly satisfying popping sounds.

Virgo

23 Aug – 22 Sep

That sneeze you keep suppressing isn't going to go away. Accept fate, grab a tissue, and get it over with.

Libra

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Shout "BOO" at someone who is suffering from hiccups, and it might help them get rid of them.

Scorpio

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Today you will accidentally turn your shower into a disco party, complete with colorful lights and a dance floor.

Sagittarius

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Today you will spend a blissful night doing nothing. You might just wake up with a solar system tattoo.

Capricorn

22 Dec – 19 Jan

While running on the treadmill, you will suddenly fly into your ceiling.

Aquarius

20 Jan – 18 Feb

In the ever-changing landscape of technology, you will become the Tech Trendsetter. Your ability to predict the next big thing and embrace cutting-edge technology will make you the go-to tech guru.

Pisces

19 Feb – 20 Mar

Wednesday, March 26, 2025