Tuesday, March 25, 2025

• 

  Kiss a malay Aries in a tree.

  Aries

  21 Mar – 19 Apr

• 

  Your love life will take a turn for the spontaneous today. Expect passionate kisses and whirlwind romance, or at the very least an unexpectedly steamy encounter with a stranger on the escalator.

  Taurus

  20 Apr – 20 May

• 

  Try to be chill like a cucumber today.

  Gemini

  21 May – 20 Jun

• 

  Your Toyotomi will turn into a robo-car, demanding you take him on a road trip. Embrace the robot adventure.

  Cancer

  21 Jun – 22 Jul

• 

  Take that siesta, just maybe avoid the wet dream afterward

  Leo

  23 Jul – 22 Aug

• 

  Be open to the possibility of receiving a cryptic message from a fortune cookie that holds the secret to your future success in knitting sweaters.

  Virgo

  23 Aug – 22 Sep

• 

  Try not to get between a moose and its Essen ale.

  Libra

  23 Sep – 22 Oct

• 

  Rubbing your belly while running may increase your speed and induce a state of euphoria. Who needs performance-enhancing drugs when you have belly-rubbing?

  Scorpio

  23 Oct – 21 Nov

• 

  Haunt the Dead Sea with a Libra

  Sagittarius

  22 Nov – 21 Dec

• 

  Today, you will stumble upon a forgotten journal from your childhood, filled with strangely accurate predictions about your current Netflix binge-watching choices.

  Capricorn

  22 Dec – 19 Jan

• 

  You have an admirer, and they're really good at hiding it.

  Aquarius

  20 Jan – 18 Feb

• 

  Today you will be visited by a famous archaeologist – but she has terrible ideas about fancy dress. Lose the mustache.

  Pisces

  19 Feb – 20 Mar