Wacky Horoscopes

Your car will transform into a sentient robot and demand a road trip.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

If you do not take care of yourself, someone else will.

20 Apr – 20 May

You're doing great!

21 May – 20 Jun

A Leprechaun will ask for your help today.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

When you wake up today, take a few minutes to plan something nice for yourself. Then, get right back into bed.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Ever wanted to go on a blind date? Well, they're not all bad. Just remember to wear your glasses.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Today you will unexpectedly receive an award for bravery. Now go win it!

23 Sep – 22 Oct

You dream about having a bowl cut and being a powerful wizard.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

You will spill tomato juice on your white t-shirt today. The stain will be permanent. Consider this a lesson in letting go of perfection.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Embrace your inner child as you stumble upon a hidden stash of glitter-filled balloons during a routine closet cleanout.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

You will be more likely to become a spaceman than a farmer.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Today you should take a road trip.

19 Feb – 20 Mar