Thursday, March 20, 2025
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Pursue esoteric knowledge: Dive into the mysteries of ancient philosophies and religions to expand your understanding of the universe.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You've accidentally-on-purpose broken a traffic light.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Before leaving the house, check your hat for spiders; there's a high chance of arachnid activity in and around your possessions.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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A border collie will rescue at least four civilians from a flood by building a dam of consciousness
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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A group of small birds will gather outside your window today, plotting a revolution against their tyrannical ruler, an evil cat that resides in the neighborhood.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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If you eat some sugar, you can speak Chinese.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You will confidently navigate your way through the buffet table, resisting the temptation to pile your plate high with treats.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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The longer you stare at a blank wall, the more likely it is to have something written on it.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will have extreme luck when it comes to parking. Save yourself the frustration and don't even try to find a spot, just park wherever you please.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you will accidentally turn your umbrella into a parachute. Float down with style!
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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The ghost of a murderer will visit you today.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Nothing can stop you from climbing that ladder, except a angry bear.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
