Monday, March 17, 2025
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A friendly dog will have an adventure with you today.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will realize there's a secret society of people with extremely long arms who swap paw prints among themselves
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will accidentally turn your vacuum cleaner into a time machine. Clean up the past and future simultaneously!
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You will be asked to eat an extra one hundred calories today, but it will be worth it.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Your spirit guide for the day is a rubber duck; heed its quacks and waddles for profound life advice.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Your trousers will all perish in a surprise wildfire
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Shout "BOO" at someone who is suffering from hiccups, and it might help them get rid of them.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you will celebrate the arrival of an errant husband, who will have returned magically from the distant past. (but is missing most of his hats)
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Good vibes only today! You possess the power to radiate positive energy, so use it to brighten someone's day and brighten your own outlook.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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A long-lost relative will unexpectedly contact you, revealing a shocking family secret.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Always carry a bandana with you, you never know when you'll need to make a quick western.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Have you been neglecting your potted plant? Sorry to bear bad tidings, but it will probably die today. Try spending more time with your other plants to make up for it.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
